4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
