i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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