Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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