Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
