It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
