Farmville is her only friend.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
did i walk over a car last night?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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