I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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