The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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