Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
