also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
