dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
