Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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