I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
