i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just had sex on a roof
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
