During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
