he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I had to cum in my sink.
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