i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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