i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
