You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
