Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
