I'm passing your future prison.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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