So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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