According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
