If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
