1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
