He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
