It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
