I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
