Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
