What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
