That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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