You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Its about making memories worth repressing
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
