i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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