My hair reeks of homosexuality.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
