why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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