i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
