Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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