i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
