Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
