If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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