I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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