whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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