tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
