I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
