I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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