that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
