We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
