i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I use my feet as sexual weapons
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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