Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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