Walk of Shame. In a state park.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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