If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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