Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
