haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
