did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
