for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
