she looked like the before picture.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
