Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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