I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
