yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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