I don't usually arrange sex via text message
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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