apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
