he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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