Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize