I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I party with great urgency now.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
