whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
